Modern Hell Enthusiasts Pillows

'Tarpits are so passe. Modern Hell offers people a choice between wind turbines or High Speed 2 in their back yards.'

Saint George and the Drag Queen

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"Don't go in there!!"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

"From this you make a living?"

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

"Hello, and welcome to Victor and Igor's latest unboxing video."

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

"Lost My Grant - Please Help!"

'It's a reinterpretation of the 'Christmas Carol'...but with a 'Vampire vs Werewolf' contemporary take on the story.'

"Wow, souls seem a lot heavier lately"

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

Zombie Pulse Eating Vegans.

"Beastly sorry about all these interruptions."

Devil with Fire and Brimstone In-Trays.

"After years of low level burglaries, Robin Hood started to steal from the rich using a sophisticated Ponzi scheme."

A snowman, Frankenstein's monster and a scarecrow watch a fireplace DVD.

'On a more positive note, your hot flashes will seem relatively cool.'

Monster on horizon warning sign.

The Tell-Tale Heart 2: Lost Phone On Vibrate

'Don't get me wrong - hell is awful, but it could be so much more hellish. We have much to learn from them.'

Jimmy Hoffa in hell.

"Good news! Our septic tank is shot."

'For the last time, Regan, there's NOTHING under your bed!'

Love at First Fright Dating Service. She's very picky. As usual, I'm having a hard time finding her a date for the Halloween Ball. She went with the Invisible Man once, but she said she could see right through him. She didn't like Cyclops because it was hard to make eye contact. Doctor Jekyll was no good because two's company and three's a crowd. Has she like anybody? Yeak, Frankenstein's monster ... She thought he was very well-built.

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"Well, I've finally gotten out of the office."

Dracula sees his reflection in the mirror.

'This is why I had to pad my resume.'

Children Of The Coronavirus

Type that up, make ten million copies and then shred them.

"Well, you may have been given the brain of a madman... but you did get excellent teeth!"

'Guess who.'