Hell Lore Lover Pillows

"Do you have a non-smoking section..?"

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

Sir Desmond Murgatroyd

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

Lady vampire putting lipstick on in a mirror with no reflection

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

Ghosts and Aliens in Bath

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'You complete me.'

'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

'Count Dracula, I wish you'd come to me sooner...'

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

"I'm the ghost of clumsy past."

"I know winter gets ugly, but this is ridiculous!"

Marilyn Ghost

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

'Oh, no! The poltergeist has taken up juggling.'

"I always said I'd sleep when I'm dead, and yet here I am doing paperwork."

'You don't look anything like Count Dracula and I should know, because he's a personal friend of mine.'

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

And where do you think you may have come in contact with AIDS tainted blood?

'Spend the night in that place? You guys have to be kidding!'

Fresh Blood In Politics