World Pillows

"Oh no, we're the laughing-stock of the world!"

Together, Apart

Where your mind & battle are los

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

Louis Armstrong

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Great Chinese Dynasties

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"We've made great progress!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Pretty Flowers

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

vaccine wars.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'