Heights Conqueror Gifts

'You the new man?'

"Leave us alone! I am a behavior therapist! I am helping my patient overcome a fear of heights!"

"Remember, when I called for an appointment, I told you I had this huge fear of falling."

Person looking for self help book to cure fear of heights, whilst perched on top of large pile looking at top shelf.

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

Planting a Flag on the Summit

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

'Nothing can stop us now, Fred...'

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

Delighted worker being propelled through the air on the back of the scale coming right off the chart

Roger managed to climb higher than any person had ever climbed before, thanks to sponsorship by Alu-Tech Aluminium Ladders.

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

"12 isn't a bad score on the hole. You did stray and some of those windmills are quite tricky!"

'Are you ready to experience what no man has ever achieved before?'

"By the way, some of us have begun to feel that 'Because it's there' is not reason enough."

No U Turn.

"Ha ha, very funny. But seriously … there’s a pub at the top?"

"That's really bad. Tell your parents it's fake news."

"These will make you feel like a kid again... especially when you can't remove the child-proof cap!"

Cutting onions

'Regardez - even le grand Escoffier cries quand il slices les onions.'

"Why giraffes have dirty knees."

"Ahhh, there's nothing like the fifteenth cup of the day."

Ascent Attempt.

It feels good to be first...

"Our goal is your complete satisfaction. But we'll settle for your money."

King of the Mountain

Man falls from above mountain summit.

Due to a rise in raw materials, higher energy charges and labour increases, there will be no box lunches this year.

"My latest book has so far failed to make a dent in any of their charts, e-book or normal."

'Worst case of acrophobia I've ever seen.'