Sales Goals Conqueror Gifts

"Our goal is your complete satisfaction. But we'll settle for your money."

Rage.

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

Second lifeReal life.

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

Why am I running?

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

Planting a Flag on the Summit

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

Minister Starts at a New Church

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

'He works in Acquisitions.'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

National corporate ladder of success monument.

"Somehow I thought they'd be a bit SCARIER."

"No man's going to stop me from getting to the top!"

'Buzz Off! I'm busy!'

'I've had tight deadlines, if that's what you mean by performing well under pressure.'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

CEO's office in a safe.

'I'm too big for 'Goodnight Moon,' Daddy. Tell the story about that business deal where you crushed the little guys.'

'The question before us is: 'do we pounce on Acme industries and gobble them up and savage them, or do we roll over like a bunch of spineless pussycats and let Acme take us over?'

"I've finally learned not to measure my worth by how many employees I have."

"Please fill out these medical forms, which are identical to the ones you filled out earlier online, and have the exact same questions your doctor will ask you later in the exam room."

'I've learned one thing in my years of experience in the business world -- never see a lawyer without seeing a lawyer first.'

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

Garden City Restaurant: 'Workaholics businessmen's lunch - 24 hours every day.'