Heavenly System Admins Gifts

"Apparently there's been a computer error - you're not actually dead yet."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

'Is this the new input device?'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

Where was I?

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"Someone has hacked into our Computer."

'Here comes the 64-bit local bus.'

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

Early Tech Support

"That didn't work either! I'm telling you, this is one AGGRESSIVE virus!"

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

'It looks like our data.'

The Escape Key

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

'Sorry, Kevin. You have given an incorrect command.'

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

"Yes, binary is really kicking in."

'Don't be nervous but I think we're about to go LIVE on the new system.'

'Hey, everyone! Guess who forgot his password?'

'We've got to upgrade our computer system. Downloading information on this one takes too long.'

Kevin had a computer virus.

"Error 404: Brain not found"