Heavenly Bureaucrats Gifts

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Cleric with bible briefcase.

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"Ticket and passport, please."

Church In and Out Trays 'Lord Giveth' and 'Taketh away'

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

I see from this you were very good at organising office parties.

'I'll need four character references.'

"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"

"Did you do all of this for me?"

Danger! Snake heaven.

'When she grows up she wants to be a nurse and do filing.'

"Your signature, Your Majesty, as well as your driver's license and a major credit card."

"Any word yet on FDA approval?"

"Apparently there's been a computer error - you're not actually dead yet."

'If you'd like to instil fear into people, then this is the job for you.'

'Oh, I don't care who - Anybody but a taxpayer.'

Heaven: Terms and Conditions

"Harry got a recall notice."

"We don't normally wrap birthday presents here. It's all part of our 'no surprises' policy."

Any post-existing conditions? Insurance.

'We're from the Galactic Bureau of Standards, and this planet is WAY out of compliance!'

'What people don't appreciate is that if you don't have middle managers to oversee forms like the 566/c4-566 then you wouldn't even know how many 566/c4-566 had been filled out.'

Do you have anyone whose bark is worse than their bite?

'Your name's not in our computer, Sir---Oh, dear! I'm afraid you're supposed to be in the OTHER place!'

'This is my new inbox.'

"...and I'm telling you, you're not entitled to paternity leave!"

"Cancel the invasion...It's like the earthling sucks all the power out of the spaceship!"

The bureau of tough-as-nails ladies in knit sweaters who have seen and heard it ALL, and had YOU pegged from a mile off.

'Pent' and 'repent' trays on God's desk.

'I didn't think there would be meetings here!'