Celestial Bureaucrats Gifts

'Pent' and 'repent' trays on God's desk.

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

Church In and Out Trays 'Lord Giveth' and 'Taketh away'

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

"It might be a while, the server just crashed again."

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

I see from this you were very good at organising office parties.

Sell the Universe !

Danger! Snake heaven.

'They're still ticked off about losing the cost-of-living allowance.'

"Did you do all of this for me?"

"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"

"Any word yet on FDA approval?"

'Intriguing theory, Dr. Kleinherz, but the fact that the Universe is expanding doesn't necessarily mean that God is a capitalist.'

'I led a long and happy life. Twenty business cycles.'

Any post-existing conditions? Insurance.

"Sometimes I wish I hadn't cut corners to it it in under seven."

"Harry got a recall notice."

Sign on the Pearly Gates reads: 'Now hiring.' Man says, 'We're in luck!'

Heaven: Terms and Conditions

'Oh, I don't care who - Anybody but a taxpayer.'

'We're from the Galactic Bureau of Standards, and this planet is WAY out of compliance!'

'Apparently it's no longer cost effective.'

'This is my new inbox.'

"What do you mean, it's not tax deductible?!"

'Your name's not in our computer, Sir---Oh, dear! I'm afraid you're supposed to be in the OTHER place!'

Heaven - Free WI-fi

"Cancel the invasion...It's like the earthling sucks all the power out of the spaceship!"

'Use the four wood!'

'I didn't think there would be meetings here!'

"You were supposed to leave your flash drive at the Pearly Gates."