Angelic Bureaucrat Gifts

Danger! Snake heaven.

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

Church In and Out Trays 'Lord Giveth' and 'Taketh away'

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

I see from this you were very good at organising office parties.

'I'll need four character references.'

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"

"Did you do all of this for me?"

"Any word yet on FDA approval?"

'Oh, I don't care who - Anybody but a taxpayer.'

Heaven: Terms and Conditions

"Harry got a recall notice."

'Thank you for contacting The Pearly Gates. Your call may be monitored for training purposes...'

Any post-existing conditions? Insurance.

"We don't normally wrap birthday presents here. It's all part of our 'no surprises' policy."

'We're from the Galactic Bureau of Standards, and this planet is WAY out of compliance!'

Do you have anyone whose bark is worse than their bite?

'Your name's not in our computer, Sir---Oh, dear! I'm afraid you're supposed to be in the OTHER place!'

'This is my new inbox.'

"Cancel the invasion...It's like the earthling sucks all the power out of the spaceship!"

'I didn't think there would be meetings here!'

'Pent' and 'repent' trays on God's desk.

Groundwater Impact Study