Heavenly Jest Appreciator Gifts

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

Scalpers Work The Queue At Heaven's Gates

"There, would you believe it - Made in China!"

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Elaine... I guess I've always been a fool for love."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"I don't think so."

Your angel is always with you

"No one has actually ever tried it before...so apparently you CAN take it with you!"

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

'Your better half isn't up here... It seems you were the better half.'

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

"Bad news - you're alive, so you have to go back down."

'No, sorry. You've reached Dragons. Payroll is on extension 4702. Shall I put you through?'

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

"Oh no. Not the niblets."

'There hasn't been an assassination attempt all week -- what are they up to out there?'

Snuggie of Turin

'It's hard to believe that they started out with just SEVEN deadly sins.'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

'Now roll over and play dead.'

'Oh, so now I'm the bad guy. I just really don't think this is the right time to discuss the direction our relationship is headed.'

No oysters killed during construction of pearly gates.'

"Sorry. I'm molting."

Angel Puppet.

'Will the defendant explain to the Court why he refuses to be called 'the accused'?'

"I guess this is as good as it gets."

"Look if I have to explain the meaning of existence, then it isn't funny."

'You brought BAGELS?'

'I was good my whole life. And for what?'

'I was never convicted! Doesn't that count for something!?'

Angel Stands In Line At Hell's Complaints Desk