Heavenly Jest Appreciator Pillows

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

Scalpers Work The Queue At Heaven's Gates

"There, would you believe it - Made in China!"

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'This is way better than a litter box.'

"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Elaine... I guess I've always been a fool for love."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"I don't think so."

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

Your angel is always with you

'I've become a victim of my own success. I'm starting to crack myself up.'

"No one has actually ever tried it before...so apparently you CAN take it with you!"

'Your better half isn't up here... It seems you were the better half.'

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

"The Lord has heard your prayers and has sent me to say unto you, shut up about it already."

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

"Bad news - you're alive, so you have to go back down."

'No, sorry. You've reached Dragons. Payroll is on extension 4702. Shall I put you through?'

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

'There hasn't been an assassination attempt all week -- what are they up to out there?'

Snuggie of Turin

'It's hard to believe that they started out with just SEVEN deadly sins.'

"Oh no. Not the niblets."

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

"Sorry. I'm molting."

Angel Puppet.

'Oh, so now I'm the bad guy. I just really don't think this is the right time to discuss the direction our relationship is headed.'

'Now roll over and play dead.'

No oysters killed during construction of pearly gates.'

'Will the defendant explain to the Court why he refuses to be called 'the accused'?'

Actually, the "you can't take it with you" rule wasn't implemented until somebody wanted to come in with bagpipes.

"I guess this is as good as it gets."

"Look if I have to explain the meaning of existence, then it isn't funny."

'You brought BAGELS?'