Mobile Jest Appreciator Gifts

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

Laughing Zone Ahead

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Elaine... I guess I've always been a fool for love."

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

OMG.

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

'I'd probably do a lot better if the teachers weren't set to 'auto-correct.''

Smart 3 Piece Suite.