Heavenly Jam Gifts

An amplified harp

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

R.I.P. ZZ Top - Dusty Hill 1949-2021

Local News in Heaven

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

Shoe repair

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

CartoonStock Upload

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

Angel playing music

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

'How come he gets a blues harp?!'

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Angels' Band: Balloons holding up a guitar.

"The last thing I remember is hearing the doctor say oops!"

"Doesn't anybody play the harp anymore?"

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

'You'll have to wait a couple of minutes... we're still downloading information from your soul's black box recorder.'

Keyboard in Heaven

"It's how I get someone's attention."

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

"Mikey and Bubbles: Gorilla songwriters"

"No, your body is actually alive and well back on earth - your mind has just arrived at the gates of blissful dementia."

Angel learning to fly...

'In your defense, I see you're not very bright. Most folks take the elevator.'

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

Pardon Me

"No, harps aren't mandatory. You could've asked for any instrument you wanted."

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

'Okay, who spilled the beans to that Darwin guy?'

"I had hoped to vote in US elections."