Heaven Quip Seekers Gifts

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Well if it isn't Mr J.R.Hartley!"

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

"Imagine! In the past year alone, Thomas Jefferson has learned to speak Swahili and play the glockenspiel."

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

"Is it just me, or is it humid up here?"

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

'I'm afraid we already have a St. Bernard up here.'

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

"Are you sure that this is really the way? I thought there was a staircase or highway?" "Maybe we should just go back down and pray!"

"Glad to see you Hotchkins... Abernathy must have been the company embezzler!"

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"I've got to admit I'm not crazy about the freeway."

"To play it safe, I still take one aspirin every other day."

God working clay on a potters wheel creating a vase with a person's arms and legs sticking out.

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

Supply was out of harps.

Gods has caged angel as pet.

Valuation of Heaven