Heavenly Humor Seeker Gifts

"It was tough at first. Now I hardly ever get the urge to check my e-mail."

'I'm sorry but you obviously don't believe in God because you didn't forward the religious emails to 10 or more people in your address book.'

'Sorry, you can't take it with you...that includes your iphone.'

"Well, what a good dog."

"User name and password?"

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

'I can't get any sleep with all those herald angels singing!'

'I'm new here...how can you tell the real 'Elvis' from the impersonators?'

Jesus Suddenly Realizes It's Almost Father's Day

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

Heaven or Hell Wheel.

'Your accountant is insisting you return...something about dying inefficiently!'

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

Bouncer picks out good-looking woman in queue for heaven. Man says: 'This, I did not expect.'

"It doesn't pay to jump up and down with rage, up here."

"Okay, I'll see what I can do about getting a copy of the autopsy."

Dog heaven - Where angels fear to tread.

Heavenly Take Out

Frank's allergic to clouds

Angel with Spider.

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

'All I know is I walked into a Bed, Bath and Beyond place.'

'Poor Adam - he lost his head start ALREADY.'

"Can you come round the front."

'I'm sorry, but you missed too many easy layups.'

What should I do? I was answering a prayer and accidentally clicked "reply all."

If you're going to be omnipresent, at least don't read over my shoulder.

"Imagine! In the past year alone, Thomas Jefferson has learned to speak Swahili and play the glockenspiel."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"We only got six days of funding."

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

'Fetch.'