Healthcare Rookie Gifts

'Let's see now. My left is your right and your left is my right.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Dancing Doctor

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"All my symptoms are old ... "

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

Fighting the Pandemic

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"I will give you the specimen some other time!"

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

Healthy Patients Only

Get well soon!

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"