Healthcare Hopeful Gifts

'I'm afraid we can't accept you as a medical student, your handwriting is far too legible. '

'Maybe we should have bought him the private version.'

I really hope Medicare for all passes, little buddy. If it passes, no one will be forced to stay in a bad marriage just for the health insurance. There'll be million of men re-entering the dating scene. The competition will help me keep my skills honed. Of course, all the extra women on the scene might negate the challenge ... Maybe I should give this more thought. I'm worried that if it passes, I'll be able to get checked, and they'll remove my pulsating mole. Throbby? But you love Throbby.

'I have good news. This should clear up in about $1800.00.'

'Why's Burl hiding in the back seat, Joy?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

This is not the time to be restructuring the NHS in the middle of a pandemic Mr. Hancock!

"I will give you the specimen some other time!"

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

Healthy Patients Only

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

Get well soon!

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"You call all this a side effect?"

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

Drug vending machines at hospital.

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'