Healthcare Cost Critic Gifts

'I'm going to prescribe something that works like aspirin but costs much, much more.'

"I'm not a miracle worker. I can't do the surgery for less than four thousand."

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

"I got a second opinion on the operation—my accountant advises against it."

I'll need the tweezers. It looks like Mr. Fosgitt here is paying through the nose for his health insurance.

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

Republican Healthcare

Have you drugged your child today?

Surgical Self-Service

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

"But Doctor - will the government pay for Ferris Buelleritis?"

'Sales are up 12% since we moved Recovery over here to the hospital gift shop.'

"Not every day you get a health minister in the surgery..."

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."