Health Topics Fan Gifts

If at first you don't succeed, call your malpractice insurance company.

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

Valleyview diet clinic

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

'Be careful...It may not be organic.'

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

M.D. You burned a hole in your stomach --- eat only bland foods from now on! No more spicy food?! It's a season-ending injury!

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

Friendly bacteria

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

"It says here you've been experiencing peels of thunder�"

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

"I think it says 'courgettes'."

Take a pill so you won't be one.

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

I'll take this one here.

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

Football fans in corona times

"I find if I say we're having hashtag broccoli or hastag brussel sprouts, they are more apt to eat them."

Tommy John Surgery.

"To play it safe, I still take one aspirin every other day."

"I'm not saying you have to give them up entirely, but you need to eat your young in moderation."

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' colour

Hipness Replacement Surgery.

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'It's radical but it just might work!'

Miss Twaddle, cancel all my appointments.

Too Much SOY

Man passes a storefront that reads "Napland - Tired? Come on in and lie down for awhile!"