Health Topics Gifts

'They're using honey to draw us out! Fortunately, they underestimate our willpower.'

Swine Flu Party: Do help yourself to the HN51 and there's some avian in the fridge.

"My mom loves me more than your mom loves you. . . She won't let 'em make me get vaccinated or wear a mask to school!"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

What the Doctor Ordered

Lactose Intolerant

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."