Health Security Seeker Gifts

'The bank won't give us a loan for a new roof because we both had a vaccination for shingles.'

Will work for ETFs

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

Exercise Bars

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

'I'm afraid you'll have to find another way of showing how crucial you job is, Johnson!'

Redundancies

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

Cures for the void.

"You call that complementary!?!"

Three cases of therapy-resistant low self-esteem

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

"You're carrying a lot of tension in your neck."