Health Security Seeker Gifts

'The bank won't give us a loan for a new roof because we both had a vaccination for shingles.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Will work for ETFs

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

Exercise Bars

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

Redundancies

"You call that complementary!?!"

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

Cures for the void.

'I'm afraid you'll have to find another way of showing how crucial you job is, Johnson!'

Three cases of therapy-resistant low self-esteem

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

"You're carrying a lot of tension in your neck."