Health Insurance Enrollment Gifts

"This one also has high copays and high deductibles, but you get unlimited Get Well cards."

You're fine, but we'd like to run some tests on your insurance card.

'Your blood pressure's up, you're tense, angry...have you been trying to sign up for Obamacare again?'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"Unfortunately there's no HMO for what you have"

"If anyone rings tell them I'm on a course."

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

Frat House Feng Shui

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

Medicare: More is Better!

"...and would you like to enroll her in pre-pre-pre-med or pre-pre-law?"

"I attempted Greek Math and stuck out like a Thor sum."

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

"Well the good news is that according to your insurance there is nothing wrong with you."

Stoics vs. Epicureans.

'I'm enrolling in an online course to learn how to apply for a loan for an online university.'

'I really should have paid more attention to the company's health care coverage options before I accepted a job here.'

'...and, if I don't get a place, I'll kill myself.'

'Let's enrol on the last one. We've more chance of getting a job doing that these days.'

'My union prevented taking away our dental plan to pay for executive bonuses!'

'I'm afraid neither your insurance nor your immune system will cover it.'

"Your insurance only pays for us to put wheels on this thing."

"And remember, kid, you've got Blue Cross."

Please School Remotely.

"Enrol now, meditation course."

"Doctor, does my policy cover little sharp arrows?!"

"You can rest assured, Mrs. Wilson, that your husband will receive the best care known to medical coverage."

'Retire? What if I want to go to college if I, you know, finish high school?'