Insurance Enrollment Gifts

"I have an awful toothache. But I sort of forgot to re-sig up for Obamacare. SO now I have to wait till next year to get treated."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Obama Healthcare.

"I just..."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

Healthy Patients Only

Single Prayer Health Insurance

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'Make a patriotic decision. Do you want your son to live in a public health insurance tyranny or do you want to let him die as a free American who doesn't have the money to pay for medical treatment?'

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'