Insurance Enrollment Gifts

"I have an awful toothache. But I sort of forgot to re-sig up for Obamacare. SO now I have to wait till next year to get treated."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"I just..."

Obama Healthcare.

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

'Make a patriotic decision. Do you want your son to live in a public health insurance tyranny or do you want to let him die as a free American who doesn't have the money to pay for medical treatment?'

Healthy Patients Only

Single Prayer Health Insurance

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.