Health Coverage Gifts

Insurance cover for naturist.

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'Long shift?'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

"Let's use the dog's prescription. His refills are cheaper."

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

"Sire, they also want dental."

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."

"Unfortunately there's no HMO for what you have"

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

'Do we have any oldies but goodies that you would care to hear?'

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

'Here's an interesting article. 'Cold or Seasonal Allergy?''

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

"Just to be on the safe side, I'd like to start an aggressive course of billing you."

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

Lemonade Stand Selling 'Mom's Meds'

'You should now feel relaxed and at one with your whole body.'

'Sorry - global warming is not covered!'

'I'm holding firm against any government health plan.'

'If this warning label on cigarettes packets doesn't stop people smoking, nothing will.'

'Sorry, our HMO doesn't approve treatments of 'owies'.'

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

A gentleman visiting a dentist.

'Mind if I open a window? It's a balmy day.'

"So laughter isn't the best medicine..."