Health Insurance Critic Pillows

'I hope these make you feel better, because they're all you're getting.'

'If you don't have insurance, we'll have to take your clothes in lieu of payment.'

'Under my health plan, alternative medicine, including placebos and hypochondria remedies will be covered.'

'Your bloodwork reveals a slightly worrisome health plan.'

"Robyn Dixon got remarried!!!"

'Heart attack? Considering our health plan, I'd go straight to the E.R. - early retirement.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

Republican Healthcare

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

Surgical Self-Service

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

'You're suffering from a lack of profit-making opportunities within the NHS.'

Have you drugged your child today?

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

'If we can't stand up to the insurance lobby, why would the public think we can stand up against the Taliban?'