Health Enthusiasts With A Funny Bone Gifts

An Expert's Guide to What's Good and What's Bad to Eat and Drink.

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Fetch the Boomerang

He. 'How would you like to own a--er--a little puppy?' She. 'Oh, Mr. Softly, this is so sudden!'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

'I guess I don't need to ask how your new hip is working out.'

"Wise?! You believe you're wise!!"

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

"There's no point trying to complain, everyone is on a 'customer care' course."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mister Kane...You've got 'Shingles'.'

'It's not that he eats between meals -- it's that his meals overlap.'

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'

'You can eat whatever you like on this diet, and here's a list of whatever you like.'

"Of course our products are absolutely safe!

Doctor to man: 'Don't kid yourself. You don't have athlete's foot - more like couch potato's corns.'

"We don't have a gym, Collins. The best I can do is let you do jumping jacks in the supply closet."

"You can't go on because you're 'feeling funny'? In your case it's so rare, make the most of it!"

'I don't care what anyone says! This is really hard work!'

'I've got it in pill form, but for really fast relief from panic attacks...'

"Crunch gym"

'He'll eat green vegetables... but only with chocolate syrup on them.'

'Do red sweaters have that carcinogenic red dye #2 in them?'

Strict Diet,

"For goodness sake, lick the thread!"