Health Enthusiasts With A Funny Bone Prints

An Expert's Guide to What's Good and What's Bad to Eat and Drink.

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Fetch the Boomerang

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

He. 'How would you like to own a--er--a little puppy?' She. 'Oh, Mr. Softly, this is so sudden!'

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

'I guess I don't need to ask how your new hip is working out.'

"Wise?! You believe you're wise!!"

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

"There's no point trying to complain, everyone is on a 'customer care' course."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mister Kane...You've got 'Shingles'.'

'It's not that he eats between meals -- it's that his meals overlap.'

'I just read that in order to get the same benefit as lab mice got from taking resveratrol, you'd have to drink 1,000 bottles of wine per day. For you, that would mean cutting back.'

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

"You can't go on because you're 'feeling funny'? In your case it's so rare, make the most of it!"

"Of course our products are absolutely safe!

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'

'I've got it in pill form, but for really fast relief from panic attacks...'

"We don't have a gym, Collins. The best I can do is let you do jumping jacks in the supply closet."

Doctor to man: 'Don't kid yourself. You don't have athlete's foot - more like couch potato's corns.'

Actually, no, I didn

'You can eat whatever you like on this diet, and here's a list of whatever you like.'

'We could use someone with your brains around here. When can you start?'

'I don't care what anyone says! This is really hard work!'

'He'll eat green vegetables... but only with chocolate syrup on them.'

"Crunch gym"

'Do red sweaters have that carcinogenic red dye #2 in them?'

Alan Carr

Strict Diet,