Health Cost Analyst Gifts

"My body is rejecting your bill."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

Booster shots

This is not the time to be restructuring the NHS in the middle of a pandemic Mr. Hancock!

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

Health Care Crisis table.

"Doc, my arm is killing me, but I don't know how I can afford care. My deductible is through the roof and I just got laid off my job."

Looking for the cause of high health care costs. . .

The Public Option

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Safe spaces?

Uncle Sam and health care.

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

'I think you misunderstood us...when we said 'no cuts in the NHS' we clearly meant 'catastrophic cuts and savage staff reductions'.'

Minister rubbishes private sector hospital initiative.

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

"We re cutting back on overhead."

"I'm aware that you brought a high-powered agent...are you aware that this job pays $26,382 and nine cents per year?"

'You're suffering from a lack of profit-making opportunities within the NHS.'

Republican Healthcare

Wards / Mortuary

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

"Don't think of yourself as just another small cog in a vast bureaucratic machine.. but rather as a quite important cost centre."

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

'Well I think it's worth a try!'

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

Obama-Health care reform

'I've saved a bundle on cubicles. I only hire mimes who do that invisible wall thing.'

Health Care is in Trouble