Healthcare Cost Auditors Gifts

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

The IRS emptied my pouch.

Counting dollars

Looking for the cause of high health care costs. . .

Safe spaces?

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

"We found a problem with your bill. It's too low. But I'm confident we can get it into the unaffordabe range soon."

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

Corporate thinking.

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

Bookkeeping Club

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

"The accounting change that contributed most to the quarter was adding three zeros to the revenue number."

'I dunno Jim...Accountancy just doesn't thrill me like it used to.'

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

Monster under the bed.

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

"Want me to send my nurse in here to tickle you? Laughter is the only medicine you can afford."

"Glad to see you Hotchkins... Abernathy must have been the company embezzler!"

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

'We'd better schedule an autopsy audit.'