Healthcare Cost Analyst Gifts

"After reviewing your credit history, I'm going to refer you to a specialist in Mexico."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"Doc, my arm is killing me, but I don't know how I can afford care. My deductible is through the roof and I just got laid off my job."

Looking for the cause of high health care costs. . .

Safe spaces?

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Uncle Sam and health care.

"I'm aware that you brought a high-powered agent...are you aware that this job pays $26,382 and nine cents per year?"

Republican Healthcare

"We re cutting back on overhead."

"Don't think of yourself as just another small cog in a vast bureaucratic machine.. but rather as a quite important cost centre."

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

'I've saved a bundle on cubicles. I only hire mimes who do that invisible wall thing.'

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

'I'm sinking fast? How long do I have doc...?'

'Surgery is being outsourced now to a shop just down the block.'

Required health insurance?

"Who needs medicare when you're a zombie?"

You take'm through the nose, you pay through the nose.

"A specialist is a doctor with a smaller practice and a bigger home."

"We're going to cut out the expensive, boring stiff and just build the top."

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

Nurses in short supply.

'It didn't make sense until I conferred with your financial planner.'

'Make people buy health insurance?! Now you're going too far.'

'If you wish to retain my rock star client's talents you're going to need to pay a rock star price.'

'Who are you calling Napoleon?I'm just going to pay you!'

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

I'll need the tweezers. It looks like Mr. Fosgitt here is paying through the nose for his health insurance.

'I'm happy to say this makes grim reading.'

'Sweet! Money to pay my health insurance premium!'