Health Consciousness Champions Pillows

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Running

Wash your hands

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'Must you always point out my floss?'

Together we defeat the Pandemic

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"Bad news: all those pink NFL uniforms don't actually cure breast cancer."

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

"These NHS types are ALWAYS complaining about SOMETHING!"

"We're very green here, we recycle everything."

"Was that the crack of dawn, Arthur, or your back?"

'Be patriotic. Food prices are rising. Eat less.'

'Oh now that is just wrong.'

'You fell that there is a thin person inside trying to get out? Sure it's only one?'

"We're seeing a lot of Selfie Face Syndrome lately."

'At least my blood pressure is nice and low.'

"Middle age is when you finally get your head together, but your body starts falling apart."

'It's wheat-free, dairy-free, fat-free, nut-free, sugar-free and salt-free...enjoy!

'Your blood pressure is up. Quit taking campaign promises with a grain of salt.'

AIDS prevention