Health Consciousness Buff Pillows

'Nothing to be concerned about, Mr. Fenwick, we do tend to shrink a bit as we get older!'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

'He's fine, it's only man flu not swine flu.'

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

Wash your hands

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

Running

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

"Polly wants a flu shot."

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

A doctor calls a body builder to perform a patella tap test on a large patient.

'Must you always point out my floss?'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."

Zika Mosquitos

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

"High sodium, high cholesterol, lots of toxins - your blood test is remarkably similar to cheap potato chips."

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

Man exiting store: 'Since I've been taking the bee pollen, I've been stopping to smell the roses more often.'