Health-conscious Fish Keeper Pillows

'He has high blood pressure. You'll have to keep him in a salt substitute, water tank.'

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"She's just being Koi."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

Leak in the fish tank.

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"I don't do windows."

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'I wish I was creative'

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'Twitter for goldfish.'

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'