Health-conscious Fish Keeper Gifts

'He has high blood pressure. You'll have to keep him in a salt substitute, water tank.'

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"She's just being Koi."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

"I don't do windows."

Leak in the fish tank.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'I wish I was creative'

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"