Health Club Pretender Pillows

"If anyone calls say I'm at the health club."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

Clown riding unicycle exercise machine at health club.

"To be honest...if it wasn't for the dog I wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Vaccine passport required

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

'Dinosaurs might have survived if they'd gone to health clubs.'

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

"Pace yourself, Mother."

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

HEALTH CLUB, 'It's just a bunch of guys sitting around eating breakfast cereal.'

Crisis at the health club.

'Oh great, we break down in the middle of nowhere and the only spare tyre we have is the one around your waist!'

'Diets are easy, I've been on loads of them.'

"Remember, ladies, if you're doing this right, you shouldn't be able to do it."

"No, Fred didn't run a TV marathon - He watched a marathon on TV."

I need something to hold my tummy in

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

'I joined an exercise class to meet men, but all the men there needed the exercise way too much.'

HEALTH CLUB, 'It's just a bunch of guys sitting around eating breakfast cereal.'

Beauty Salon - "I'm just sorry we couldn't do more for you."

Walk right in. Sit right down.