Health Care Decisions Gifts

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"When I said, 'I want you to sleep on it'. I menat when you go home tonight."

Healthcare declaration

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'But Father, I don't want to study space time temporal theories in relation to collapsing pulsars, I want to do my own thing!'

'Sometimes I wish I had never sold my camels!'

An Arm and a Leg.

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"I was told you didn't want a pacemaker fitted."

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Mom, let's play doctor. I'll be the patient and you decide if I should be vaccinated."

In 2036, finally everyone has access to tremendous healthcare... on the moon base where all the rich people live!

"Actually, the 24/7 Roadside Assistance kinda makes up for the 24/7 vehicle depreciation."

'The Doctor will see you now...'

'Don't tell me you want universal health care!'

"I got a second opinion on the operation—my accountant advises against it."

"I'm not a doctor, but I play at being one when deciding whether or not to get the kid vaccinated."

Health Care Reform.

'He's just deciding whether or not to operate.'

Cost/Value

When emergency services privatise: sign reads 'Have your accident here for immediate and courteous attention.'

Dr. Atlas gets the jump on Trump

'Rising health care costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients, Mr. Harvil.'

Cost Benefit Ratio

'You can NOT be turned down for this insurance, but we reserve the right not to pay off on claims.'

"I wan't my tubes tied."

"My existing plan dropped me, too!"

'On this 'public option' thing... Can it be optional?'

"I'm going to sue the NHS"/"Me too"

The 5th wave

"Ready...aim..."