Healthcare Decision-maker Gifts

"I'm not a doctor, but I play at being one when deciding whether or not to get the kid vaccinated."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

Career Choices

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

London GPs could become an endangered species.

Stop saying 'You're the boss' I KNOW I'm the boss!

'OK, let's see who's going to be the pack horse today: Heads or tails?'

"Who's ready to see what's going to happen in the fourth quarter?"

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

Jesus Christ, Health Insurance CEO

"There's only one thing I hate more than a 'yes man', and that's a 'no man'!"

Medical student overdrafts...careers in the law.

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'Sometimes I wish I had never sold my camels!'

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

Coronavirus Debate

"The key to making the right decision is knowing which coin to flip."

Wiseguys/Smartasses/Eggheads/Smarty Pants

Doubt or Certainy

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"There are some specific issues concerning landing yet to be resolved but we're making good progress."

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

World Health Organization

'Due to cutbacks on your insurance plan, your visits to Dr. Phil are no longer covered. You'll have to start seeing Physician's Assistant Phil.'

'Your hospital needs more nurses? So hire more nurses!'

Decision time