Health Blogger Pillows

Studies show foods work miracles!

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Be Healthy

"Your contents have shifted."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

All Natural Nothing

'Your reflexes are still good!'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

Your lobster was off!

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'It's my favorite.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept