Health Blog Reader Pillows

"Actually I feel great but I read on the coronavirus blog that that might just be a symptom."

Studies show foods work miracles!

'Is this still America?'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

"My approach is nontraditional, but from a uniquely Western perspective."

'I told you not to look up your ailments on the internet' - computer screen reads 'You have 3 days to live',

'While these products may not result in weight loss, they will result in credibility loss.'

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

"I guess exercise will make me feel more energetic, but I feel like I'm wasting all my energy exercising!"

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

"Pavlov's Blog."

'Whales record their life events in their earwax.'

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

"I don’t care what you read on social media, I cannot prescribe chocolate mini eggs to help with your weight loss!"

'The nation is evenly divided again...the red states, Atkins Diet...the blue states, South Beach.'

'I haven't read the health columns this morning. Is coffee out or in today?'

The Diabetic Hummingbird Feeder

Auto Repair. I'm just taking it in for a few adjustments. A visit to the car-o-practor!

'I take it that when you went on your 'spot reduction' diet, this wasn't what you had in mind?'

'He's a very good doctor, and I trust him, but I must confess that I always double check his diagnosis on Google.'

"We saw a movie about mononucleosis in health class. It was called, 'Germs of Endearment.'"

'So does this 'hip, bum and thighs diet' work?'

'It has been one of those days when every patient has read the same medical article in Reader's Digest.'

"NO SMOKING PILL"

If at first you don't succeed, call your malpractice insurance company.

How to Keep the Doctors Guessing

"In health news, everything you thought was good for you is now bad for you."

The Spreaders

"I can't read any ingredients. Is it all natural?"

"My complaint is RARE? - y'mean none of my friends have it?"

"Stop complaining. If you hadn't spent all day in a donut shop you wouldn't have to lose 3.5 stones so we could lift off."

Patrons are reading 'How to have sex and not die'.