Health-conscious Reader Pillows

The Spreaders

"I can't read any ingredients. Is it all natural?"

'That does it! I have to quit smoking!'

Patrons are reading 'How to have sex and not die'.

But is it organic?

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Running

'Diet considerations.'

Wash your hands

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

Flash Cuisine

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'Trade you lunches?'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

Stop smoking,instantly.

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'Is it organic?'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

Complex Carbs

Spring.

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."