Health Aspirant Gifts

The Gentle Art of Not Running.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

Exercise Bars

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

January Joiner

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

'My fortune says 'you can't be too thin, or too rich, or have too much computer memory'.'

"You call that complementary!?!"

'Frank said if he ever won a lot of money from online gambling, he wouldn't change, He lied,'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

"The reason you haven't seen me lately is because I haven't been well..."

No use being self-conscious

"That's the shoestring I started with. It was tied around 100 million dollars worth of stocks and bonds."

Second Opinion

'Does my bum look broadband with this?'

The Janopause

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

'I'm hoping that this will take off and I will earn enough to pay my way through medical school some day.'

'Your weight second opinion.'