Health Aspirant Gifts

The Gentle Art of Not Running.

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

Exercise Bars

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

January Joiner

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

'My fortune says 'you can't be too thin, or too rich, or have too much computer memory'.'

"You call that complementary!?!"

'Frank said if he ever won a lot of money from online gambling, he wouldn't change, He lied,'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

Second Opinion

The Janopause

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

'Does my bum look broadband with this?'

"The reason you haven't seen me lately is because I haven't been well..."

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

"That's the shoestring I started with. It was tied around 100 million dollars worth of stocks and bonds."

No use being self-conscious

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

'Your weight second opinion.'