Health And Safety Critic Gifts

'Remarkably the only fatalities from this crash were the two passengers who failed to return their trays to the upright positions.'

'Looks like the council might have over-engineered the safety surface.'

Health and Safety Accident

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Cafe Burns.

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

Safety Barriers

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

'This is your lucky day!'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

Republican Healthcare

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

Have you drugged your child today?

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Surgical Self-Service

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

Wards / Mortuary