Health And Safety Critic Gifts

'Remarkably the only fatalities from this crash were the two passengers who failed to return their trays to the upright positions.'

'Looks like the council might have over-engineered the safety surface.'

Health and Safety Accident

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Cafe Burns.

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

Safety Barriers

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

'This is your lucky day!'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

Wards / Mortuary

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

Have you drugged your child today?

Republican Healthcare

Surgical Self-Service

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."