Safety Critic Gifts

Man is perfectly safe walking up and down a staircase until a health and safety notice is put up.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Baby on board.

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

On the brink.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"Careful."

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Caution signs.

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

Privacy

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

Legalish

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'