Health And Safety Gifts

'This is your lucky day!'

Banana Warning

"Suspenders and a belt? You must be the guy from risk management."

Room for one more...

Skills and experience held back by bureaucracy and protocols.

'If I was wearing my 'what'?!'

...Compound fractures occur when a bone snaps like a twig and pokes right through the skin...

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

Reference books - Health & Safety.

'Not cars. here we're testing oblivious texters walking into walls.'

Operating Instructions: 1) Grasp railing firmly with left hand. 2) Place right foot on nearest step. (directions for climbing stairs)

'I can assure you our x-ray procedures follow very strict health and safety guidelines.'

"It's comforting to know that we have safety boots and hats."

Gymnast on balancing beam about to slip on a banana skin.

I threw my back out picking up the guidelines

'Let that be a lesson to you, son...crack kills.'

Office Safety - Fire Escape Practice.

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

Caution: New Year Under Construction - Enter At Own Risk.

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Burgers....condiments...First Aid.

"What's all this fuss about genetically modified food, anyway?"

'That's better. Now you can go back to work.'

'Pencils?' 'Check.' 'Pads?' 'Check.'...'Automated external defibrillator?' 'Check.'

Halloween health & safety.

'Get back...there's a thermometer in that filing cabinet that could leap out, smash on the floor and give someone a mild headache.'

'A first aid kit...good choice! You'll need it after cutting your fingers on the plastic packaging.'

Danger Explosives.

When Rock Bands Comply with Health and Safety Rules.

'Given the medication you're on, Larry, maybe you ought to go home!'

'Yes, I did tell you to hang the fire extinguisher where it would be easy to reach, but...'

Safety Record: 452 Days without a Drowned Rat.

'Mind your head'

'I bet he wasn't carrying a helmet.'