Health Safety Gifts

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

Airline HQ. First we had to worry about planes that were not staying in the air. Now we have to worry about water droplets that are staying in the air.

The 11th commandment: Thou shalt socially distance and wear a mask

Start of the school year and politicians

When I said bring protection, I meant a mask.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Baby on board.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Bench Press Accident

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

On the brink.

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'