Health And Beauty Gifts

'Lift' and 'Tuck' entrances in a cosmetic surgery clinic.

'Have I ever considered electrolysis? What's electrolysis?'

New You Plastic Surgery. That's right, doctor, I gave her the bill and her nose went right out of joint again.

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

'Try not to stare. Father Time hot hair plugs and botox.'

"There's a sale on at the Body Shop...!"

Welcome to Umbilicoplasty aesthetic surgery

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

What the Doctor Ordered

The adoration of the gels.

Spa

Bad fake tan day.

'Well, well, well...'

Lactose Intolerant

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis