Health And Beauty Pillows

'Lift' and 'Tuck' entrances in a cosmetic surgery clinic.

'Have I ever considered electrolysis? What's electrolysis?'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

'Try not to stare. Father Time hot hair plugs and botox.'

Welcome to Umbilicoplasty aesthetic surgery

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Self help acupuncture

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

The adoration of the gels.

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

What the Doctor Ordered

'Well, well, well...'

Lactose Intolerant

Spa

Bad fake tan day.

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."