Health And Wellness Gifts

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

PSA Banter.

Boston Gastroenterology Clinic: 'No, I don't have an accent. I said your appointment was too farty.'

"Boy, I'm going to pay for this tomorrow at yoga class."

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anit-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

A health food store uses a salt substitute to salt the sidewalk.

Hand sanitizer

'Removing the phone is easy. Getting your head and arms to their original positions will take weeks of physical therapy.'

Doctor to man: 'Laughter is the best medicine, but it's not covered in your health plan.'

'Apparently they're better than The Cure.'

'Would you like your child be in the gluten-free class, the lactose-free class, or the peanut-allergic class?'

Physiotherapist tells Humpty Dumpty: 'OK, you've had a great fall, but we'll have you back on that wall in no time.'

'Hi, my name's Krystyn, and I'll be the nutritionist liaison to your waiter tonight.'

"Better lay off using the heating pad."

'I guess I don't need to ask how your new hip is working out.'

'I'm afraid we've had the results back and it's bad news...he could live to be a hundred.'

'I told you he had high blood pressure!'

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

'Type 2 diabetes raise concern over increased incidence of childhood obesity.'

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'Assuming I am a hypochondriac, couldn't that condition be brought on by a brain tumor?'

'I told you smoking was bad for you.'

'He's our team doctor, athletic trainer, chiropractor and psychiatrist all rolled in one.'

"I've warned you about the dangers of a too sedentary lifestyle!"

'We've had reports you're an unfit mother.'

"I want you to know that genetically modified food are completely safe to eat..."

"I get a shooting pain up my left arm every time I reach for a second helping and my wife stabs me with her fork."

'What about Trans Fats?!'

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

Overzealous health inspectors.

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

Fat Woman with Thin Shadow.

'Do you have this chart in Big Print'