Headlines Skeptic Gifts

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"God works in mysterious ways."

"The news is so fake, the ads are beginning to look honest."

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

'Don't believe everything you read.'

Fake News for Fake People

"Social service teams are claiming that they can't recruit workers because of the vicious, biased reports we write about them!"

Russian war crimes

Incredible

Filmed in Supermarionation

"Since I no longer trust the media. I get all my news from hysterical people on the street."

'It says here that most people believe what they read in the papers.'

"I've been expecting this...FAKE WEATHER!"

"I'm actually looking forward to age-related hearing loss."

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

'Why don't you change it to sports or cartoons or something? -- You know CNN just depresses you.'

"Here's a great software update. It lets me delete all the features that I didn't want from the last update."

The Good News, the Media Nothwithstanding

Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.

Rudy, be reasonable. We can't have a functioning media if everyone starts putting up their own stories on the web. We need professional ethics. We need editing. We need fact-checking. We need

I Can't Believe It's Not Fake News

"I hope they're not fake commandments!"

"What do the know!"

'The market fell today because it needed to fail before it could succeed.'

Lies on the Internet

"Elvis battles Alien, Britney weds Satan. Man, who reads this garbage?"

We interrupt this breaking news to bring you breaking news! About half an hour ago, we interrupted "The Price Is Right" to bring you breaking news. An elderly "Price Is Right" fan emerged out of nowhere and began pummeling our news van with rotten eggs. Our newscopter is bringing us video of the lady chasing our van. What is that she's driving, Chuck? I believe that's a Rascal Scooter, Ted.

"Listen to this Mr Doom 'n' gloom! The recession's over!"

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.