Hazardous Hilarity Seeker Gifts

Laboratories - Contaminate Biologicals/Hazardous Material/Radioactive Waste/Mutant Organisms.

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

'You forgot the product label.'

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

"Imagine! In the past year alone, Thomas Jefferson has learned to speak Swahili and play the glockenspiel."

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

"Good?"

'Congratulations, its a six pound biker.'

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"I'm removing the liver.. No, the kidneys... Presure, pressure, what's that blobby thing?"

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

"Seriously, Ice-Skating? You want to try out Ice-Skating?!"

'My investment advice is to relax, stop and smell the roses, dig up the roses, bury a million dollars beneath the roses.'

'Don't be a hero, Dewey! It's a snowboarder - and he's huge! Let's get out of here!!'

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

John Dryden

'Your accountant is insisting you return...something about dying inefficiently!'

'I'm sorry, but you missed too many easy layups.'

Jesus Suddenly Realizes It's Almost Father's Day

"I'll have whatever is hot, fast, and artisanal."